My Amazon Pilgrimage

I recently undertook a 14 week job with Amazon for their holiday shopping season. Working the day shift 7:30am to 6pm, Sun-Wed. The first week was great, we were in training, which basically consisted of watching videos and socializing/bonding with our fellow camperforce coworkers, which was so much fun. Sunday, Monday and 1/2 of Tuesday we were pretty much sitting down and having a good time. Tuesday afternoon we hit the floor for hands on training doing the actual job, which for us was picking. Picking is like shopping, but shopping nonstop for almost 10 hours, all while wearing safety shoes!! We get two 30 minute breaks in a 10 and a half hour day. **We signed non disclose forms, so I will do the best I can to tell my story without violating that.” I was pretty much left alone after training because I had an instant understanding of what was required, I am a quick learner with an almost photographic memory. Wednesday was our first full day of working, I was excited! I took off on my own with a big ole smile on my face while whistling and singing. That lasted about 7 hours lol. I can tell you that I was overjoyed that we ended an hour early to have a Graduation from Training ceremony. I was tired and sore but still excited about the job and looking forward to enjoying the three day “weekend”.

Fast forward to the next week, end of shift on Monday. I was exhausted and my feet felt broken, I could hardly walk. I was averaging 6-10 miles a shift. Amazon was offering a lot of Voluntary Time off because it wasn’t peak season yet. I started taking full advantage of it because my feet hurt so bad, this was great for my feet but hard on my bank account, which caused some stress as well. Also, and even more importantly than the physical pain, I was bored out of my mind!! You are not permitted to use headphones while working, even wireless, for safety reasons. So no music, no podcasts, no ebooks!! The physical pain I was experiencing became exacerbated from the utter boredom I was feeling while doing the job. I didn’t know how I was going to continue, I was starting to feel really low and defeated, which is not how I usually feel. I was utilizing all my “life tools” that I use to stay in a peaceful, happy space. If you have watched my YouTube videos you have seen for yourself how most of the time I am joyful and laughing. I frequently say if you aint laughin you’re cryin! So I did the only thing I knew to do when I don’t know what to do, I got quiet and I started praying. Asking God for help, to show me the way, because I couldn’t see how I was going to make it. And of course God answered!

Some of you know that I have an interest in thru hiking and have often thought of hiking the PCT or the Camino de Santiago. So I often watch others who thru hike. I was currently watching Crystal walk the Camino, she is a fellow YouTuber and van traveler with her husband. **Check them out at Vanhalla Adventures on YouTube! I think Crystal was currently on her third day walking the camino, and when the video was finished I noticed a suggested video off to the side. It was Quadzilla, The Healthy Gamer, and he was hiking the PCT, he was working on a Calendar Year Triple Crown! For those who do not know, that is hiking all three trails in the same year, the AT, PCT and CDT. That is a total of roughly 8,000 miles of hiking in one year!! It is an incredible feat to just hike ONE of these long trails but to walk all three in one year was just mind blowing to me. So I was instantly hooked after watching one of his videos because he makes great content, very personable, and you want him to succeed!

Then it happened, somewhere in the middle of watching Quadzilla and Crystal’s videos it happened. God spoke to me and BAM, I had my answer on how I was going to make it through the next 12 weeks! I have for a long time now believed that if you have a “problem”, then you have three choices to “solve” it. You can either, Change it, Leave it, or Accept it. I needed to change my mindset and have something to focus on so that the boredom wouldn’t creep in, so I started imagining that I am training to hike the PCT. So when I am at work and it starts to get “HARD”, I start planning and pretending that this is me walking and getting in shape to hike the PCT. Sometimes even that I was on the PCT, feeling the sun on my face, seeing those vista views and smelling the forests.

Amazingly this mind shift turned this entire experience into a pilgrimage for me, it has become my Amazon Pilgrimage. I have faced not only physical and mental toughness but also spiritual. The spiritual toughness rocked me most because I had thought I was solid. Before starting at Amazon I was already making plans to share my spiritual practice by offering to “coach” others. Well there were days when I lost my smile and was actually complaining!! I was like who am I?? How would I be able to coach anyone? This finally changed for me on the Tuesday of Week 10. It was a wonderful day at work, I even remember the manager had played Lovely Day by Bill Withers at our standup. Then at one point in the day I had found a tambourine in one of the aisles and started banging on it and doing a little cha cha! One of my fellow camperforce workers just happened to be in the vicinity and we both got a good laugh and crackup from it. She said you are so joyful today. Yes, I had rediscovered my joy and vitality again, remembered what I had been told by God in 2018. And even though I had new pains in my hands and wrists, and my feet still felt broken at the end of each day, I felt renewed! The pain in my body, I just had to Accept, but it didn’t have the same affect on me when my Spiritual and Mental states were elevated and balanced in harmony.

I was overjoyed at having my vitality restored, my Light was shining bright again. Yes I was still in incredible pain that remained right up until the end! It was a rare day when I did not have the thought of quitting, especially the last three weeks when we went from working 40 hours a week to 50!!  And yes I would still have moments of deep sadness when I would think about my son Kyle, who is still lost in the city of angels. I persevered and didn’t give up, and I was reminded by God that what we experience here on this plane of existence is all temporary, constantly changing. I was restored and renewed in the true purpose of Life. **At the end of this job with Amazon I had walked over 500 miles, the same amount of miles as the Camino de Santiago! That just blows my mind!

In my experience, and also from the stories of others who embark on these long pilgrimages, you grow through the things that seem to be “Hard”. The physical pain of these trials help to bring out the hidden issues of the mind and spirit into the light, to be known and then released. The more struggle and adversity you go through ends up being a more beautiful, miraculous transformation. I thought when I had my awakening moment with God back in 2018, and learned that we are always safe and loved no matter what, that my struggles were finally over for good. And they were, for how my life was before that moment they definitely were. This experience was more a fine tuning and I truly feel we are always being fine tuned. I have come to realize that Life, this amazing beautiful Life, is one, hopefully long, winding, spiraling, magical pilgrimage.

“Buen Camino!”